Cougar Read online

  “I’m sorry for your loss.” Me, too.

  “He was a wonderful man.” The best.

  “He’ll be missed.” Immensely.

  “Em,” Marcus breathed. It sounded like a plea.

  I felt the air shift in the room, aware of our family’s presence. But they remained silent.

  Lifting my head from his chest, I noticed the fight he once had in his eyes was gone, replaced with acceptance.

  He was ready.

  My gaze shifted to Jay, clinging to his other side, sound asleep. Then I glanced around the room at our family quietly looking on, waiting. They’d all said their goodbyes.

  Reaching up, I cupped his cheek and forced myself to keep it together as I whispered, “I love you, Marcus Alexander King, and I always will. Thank you for sharing your life with me. For loving me. For your faithfulness and devotion to our family. Thank you for your patience. Your kindness. And for giving me the most amazing daughter. There will never be a day that I will not think of you or miss you. I will love you for the rest of my life.”

  His eyes fluttered closed and his throat bobbed with a hard swallow. I pressed my lips to his, tasting the saltiness of my tears. He opened his eyes and his gaze drifted down to Jay. Apprehension and sadness marred his sunken features, knowing another round of goodbyes would only cause her more heartache.

  Slowly, his gaze returned to me. There was so much fear reflected in his eyes.

  But not of dying.

  Fear of letting go of Jay. His Jaybird.

  Fear of letting go of his family.

  “It’s okay, baby,” I reassured him. “We’ll be okay. She’ll be okay. I promise I’ll take care of her.”

  With a weak nod, he turned his gaze toward the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the beach, just as the sun began to set, closed his eyes and exhaled, “For eternity,” through his last breath. It was faint, but I heard it.

  I exhaled harshly, choking on the air as it left my body in a whoosh. The room spun around me. People were talking, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying over the sound of my pulse pounding in my ears. I lowered my head to Marcus’s chest as I’d done almost every day for nearly twenty-two years. And for the first time, he didn’t curl his arm around me or kiss the top of my head. I couldn’t feel his heart beating under my cheek, or the rise and fall of his chest with every breath he took.

  He was really gone.

  “Emerson?”

  “Emerson?” My mother’s voice pulls me to the present. I turn my head, blinking slowly. “Honey, are you going to answer him?”

  “Who?”

  I feel a gentle squeeze of my hand and I turn my head, coming face-to-face with Miles Townsend.

  “Miles, I’m so sorry. I’m a little out of it today. Thank you for being here.”

  Miles is an old friend of Marcus’s who owns Rhythm & Riffs, a magazine with exclusive access to King Records’ new artists.

  Miles gives my hand another squeeze. “Of course. Marcus was a good friend and colleague.” He looks over his shoulder, and I follow his line of sight. “Jayla gave a wonderful eulogy today. I can’t believe how grown-up she is.”

  “You should go over and introduce yourself. She still owes you an interview, and I promise as soon as she’s ready, we’ll set something up.” Marcus had set up an interview for Jayla six months ago to introduce the latest Royal Mayhem album, Jaybird, which she and Marcus co-wrote and collaborated on.

  “Jaybird. Before I forget, I scheduled an interview for you next month with a man named Miles Townsend from Rhythm & Riffs magazine.”

  “Why?” she asked, brows furrowed.

  “The album,” he drawled sarcastically. It started out as just a pet project with a handful of original songs written by Jay and a few covers of Marcus’s favorites. But Marcus decided the album was too good to go unheard, so he stuck her in a studio and produced it himself. The world needed to know how talented his little Jaybird was—his words.

  “I figured that much.” Jay rolled her eyes. “But why are you letting him? I thought I wasn’t allowed to talk to reporters.”

  “You’re not. Miles is an old friend. I trust him with you.”

  “Okay.” She shrugged. “If you trust him, then so do I.”

  That same night, Marcus had a seizure that landed him in the hospital for weeks. Needless to say, the interview, as well as the album release, has been put on hold indefinitely.

  “No rush,” Miles says, once again pulling me back to the present. “I’m not going anywhere. In the meantime, if you need anything, just let me know.”

  “Thank you, Miles.”

  He shakes hands with my father, then heads over to speak to Jay.

  My chest tightens. “I need some air.” Standing from the sofa, I kick off my heels and head out the back door, making my way down to the beach.

  Emerson

  I stare out at the endless sky as my toes sink into the sand. I’ve lost count of the number of sunsets Marcus and I watched from this exact spot. The same spot where he asked me to marry him.

  We were sitting side by side on the edge of the shore. Just as the sun touched the ocean in the distance, Marcus turned to me, brushed the hair away from my face, and said, “Let’s get married.”

  “Married?” I asked, amused. “We’ve only known each other a week.” I rolled my eyes and turned back to watch the sunset.

  Marcus cupped my cheek and turned my face to his. “I know it sounds crazy, but I knew I wanted to marry you before our plane even landed at LAX. Every good decision I’ve ever made has been from trusting my gut and following my heart.”

  “But there’s still so much we don’t know about each other.”

  “I know enough.”

  “Oh really?” I challenged.

  “Your name is Emerson Renee Mackenzie. You were born and raised in Heritage Bay, Florida, to Dr. Max and Ella Mackenzie. You have two brothers, Max and Liam. You’re the middle child. Max is the oldest by four years, and Liam is the youngest by twelve years. You recently graduated with honors from Heritage Bay Academy and will be attending UCLA in the fall. You’re beautiful, but I find that you’re even more beautiful when you first wake up in the morning. You’re smart and a bit of a smartass, which is a turn-on. You’re feisty, which I find sexy. You’re stubborn, and from what you’ve told me about your parents, you get it from your mother. You frown when you sleep but you don’t snore. You always smell good. And if I’m being honest, you have an amazing rack.”

  He dropped his gaze to my chest and laughed when I playfully backhanded him in the arm. I giggled when he caught my hand and brought it to his lips. “I know your friends hurt you, and trust isn’t something you’re willing to give so easily, but I’m in love with you, Emerson Renee Mackenzie, and I promise you that I will never hurt you or give you a reason not to trust me. I promise to love you for eternity.”

  I wish I could say Marcus made good on his promise, but unfortunately, becoming a famous rock star and living in a fishbowl meant some things were out of his control. When Marcus and I met on the plane that day, Royal Mayhem was on the rise to stardom. They had a decent-sized fan base, which was rapidly growing by the day.

  At the time, Marcus wasn’t easily recognized in public, so it wasn’t a big deal to the world when we flew to Vegas and eloped. I’d never felt so scared, reckless, and excited all at once in my life.

  It wasn’t long after we were married, maybe a year, before Royal Mayhem skyrocketed to fame and they were back on the road as the headliners of their own tour. Marcus’s face was splashed all over the tabloids with photos of him with other women, followed by stories of heavy drug use, which I knew to be false. Tommy and Chaz smoked an occasional joint, Drew preferred alcohol, and Marcus had a beer every once in a while, but none of them were heavy drug users. Marcus’s biological parents were drug addicts, which was how he ended up in the system. He chose not to fall down the same rabbit hole, so music became his drug of choice.

  Being
married to a rock star, you need to have a thick skin. Being a teenager with trust issues and married to a man I was still getting to know was hard work. I knew the stories of him with other women were bullshit, but it didn’t stop me from feeling insecure or jealous and acting so irrationally that it nearly tore us apart. But eventually I learned to push my insecurities aside, because at the end of the day, I trusted my husband.

  A familiar skunk-like smell permeates the air, prompting me to turn my head to the side. I spot Alex and Evangeline sitting in the sand, both still in their funeral clothes, backs against a large rock.

  Evangeline Skye is Jayla’s childhood best friend and Alex’s girlfriend. She’s also the daughter of Chandler Skye, Marcus’s business partner and CFO of King Records. The two met a couple of years ago while Alex was visiting Marcus and me for the first time.

  “What’s wrong?” Marcus asked as he walked into our home office.

  “You have a son,” I whispered.

  Marcus huffed out a laugh. “Last I checked, I have a daughter,” he joked.

  But I didn’t laugh.

  His smile fell and his body stilled. “Emerson?”

  Tears filled my eyes as I held up the letter from the attorney.

  Marcus rounded the desk, took the letter from my hand, and tossed it to the side. Then he pulled me to my feet and cupped my face. “Emerson.” He smiled as he wiped the tears from under my eyes with his thumbs. “There’s always going to be some deranged female out there claiming I’m her baby daddy. We’ve been laughing about this for years. Why are you suddenly so upset?”

  “Because it came from an attorney.”

  He rolled his eyes. “So?”

  “To our home.”

  “So?” he drawled.

  “The attorney is Mike Easton.”

  He frowned. “Why does that name sound familiar?”

  “Because he’s married to Elizabeth Parker.”

  “Well shit.” He took a step back and raked his hands through his short hair. “This doesn’t make any sense. And how did he get our address?”

  I raised a brow.

  He sighed and shook his head. “Your mother.”

  Marcus grabbed the letter off the desk, then picked up the phone. An hour later, we had our answers.

  “His name is Alex Reyes. His mother is Sophia Reyes.”

  “Do you remember her?” I asked.

  “Yes.”

  I sank back against the sofa and blew out a breath. “Is she an old girlfriend you failed to tell me about?”

  He scoffed. “No, Emerson. I met her at a diner. It was late, and the guys and I had gone there after a show. She was there with her friends. They’d been out drinking and celebrating her twenty-first birthday. We hung out with them in the diner until the early morning hours. The guys went back to the hotel and I went home with her.”

  I hated the story. Even after all these years of marriage, I was still jealous that there were other women before me. I held up my hand, not wanting to hear any more. “Enough with the details, Marcus. I get it. She rocked your world and gave you a son.” She gave him the one thing I couldn’t.

  Marcus moved to stand in front of me, dropped to his knees and slid his hands up my thighs. “That’s not why I remember her. Let me finish.”

  I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. “Fine.”

  “Yes, I had sex with her.” He exhaled through his nose as if it irritated him having to admit it. “I lost track of time, my cell phone was dead and by the time I charged it, the bus had already left without me. Thank God I had my wallet on me or I never would’ve been able to book that last-minute flight out of Tampa to LA. And I never would’ve met you. That’s why I remember her.”

  Fate.

  A few weeks later, the DNA results came back and confirmed that Marcus was, in fact, Alex’s father.

  Jay was leaving for a two-week vacation with my parents, so we arranged for Alex to come to California while she was gone.

  The moment I laid eyes on Alex, the wind had been knocked out of me. He was the spitting image of the young Marcus I met on the plane that fateful day.

  Marcus and Alex bonded instantly. He was in awe over his son, his interest in music, his talent.

  “Hey,” I say as I walk toward them.

  “Hey, Em,” Evangeline greets me as she gets to her feet and brushes the sand from her dress. “I’m gonna go check on Jay,” she tells us as she starts toward the house.

  “I was wondering where you were hiding.” I sit in the sand beside Alex, propping my hands behind me and crossing my feet at the ankles. Alex sits with his legs bent, arms draped over the tops of his knees, and a joint pinched between his fingers.

  Alex exhales a humorless laugh, and a cloud of smoke drifts through the air. “Isn’t that what Marcus would’ve wanted?”

  “Hey,” I chide. “You know that’s not true.” I swipe the joint from his fingers and bring it to my lips.

  Alex shrugs.

  “Do you really believe that?”

  He sighs. “No.”

  “Alex, you came into our lives at the most inopportune time.” He looks over at me with a frown and I hold up my hand. “I’m not saying you were an inconvenience. If anything, you were a blessing. He wasn’t trying to hide you, honey. He was trying to protect us all from a media shitstorm. Marcus loved you before he even met you, and he was proud of you. It devastated him that he didn’t get more time with you before the cancer took over.”

  He drops his head. “I loved him, too, and I wish I’d gotten more time with him. I wish my mom hadn’t waited so long….” He shakes his head, letting his words hang in the air.

  Alex had always known the man who raised him wasn’t his biological father. When he turned eighteen, his mother finally told him about Marcus.

  “Alex.” I place my hand on his back. “Your mom was trying to protect you, too. She didn’t want to risk your anonymity. The media can be pretty aggressive and cruel, taking something so innocent and personal and twisting it into filthy gossip. If they’d found out about you, your life would’ve taken a different turn. Your childhood would’ve been tainted. Your mother sacrificed her pride to give you a normal childhood. I envy her for that. Jay will never know normal. I don’t regret keeping her out of the public eye, but I do regret that Marcus and I couldn’t give her normal.”

  “I think she turned out to be pretty amazing.”

  “She is pretty amazing,” I agree with a smile.

  “I think you’re pretty amazing, too.” He bumps his shoulder against mine.

  “Alex.” He looks over at me. “I want you to know that you’re important to this family, and I’m happy to have you in our lives. I need time to get Jay settled in Heritage Bay, but I promise, as soon as things settle down, we’ll tell her the truth.”

  “Okay.” He nods. “Either way, she’s gonna be pissed that Marcus kept this from her. I just hope she doesn’t find out before we get the chance to tell her.”

  “She won’t.”

  “We’re heading back in a couple of days,” Max informs me. “Have you talked to Jay about going back with us?”

  I shake my head as my gaze flicks to the stairs. Jay’s hardly left her room since the funeral. She won’t leave California. “She’s staying here.”

  My mother inhales sharply through her nose, and it looks like she’s about to speak up, but my brother cuts her off. “Em,” he starts again. “Marcus wanted—”

  My head snaps in his direction. “I know what he wanted, Max,” I hiss. “But it’s not what I want. Last I checked, I’m still her parent. She’s staying.”

  “Why don’t you both go?” Liam suggests.

  I love my family, but they just don’t get it. I stand up from the sofa and point to my chest. “Because this is my home, and I’m not ready to leave!” I shout. “I know you’re all trying to help and I appreciate it, I really do, but I’m suffocating here, so please just back the hell off.” Before I say something I’ll regret later, I tur
n and storm out the back door.

  What was Marcus thinking? How could he think Jay would be okay with being uprooted from the only home she’s ever known and sent to a place she’s never been?

  “I want you to go home,” Marcus said beside me as we watched the sunset.

  I frowned and looked over at him, confused. “I am home.”

  He shook his head, keeping his gaze fixed straight ahead. “After I’m gone, I want you to take Jaybird and go back to Heritage Bay with your family.”

  I don’t know what part of that sentence hit me the hardest, but I hated every word. “Heritage Bay is not my home. This is my home.”

  He shook his head again. “I don’t want her here, in California, after I’m gone. I know what the media and the paparazzi are capable of, and I don’t want them near my family. They’ll harass you. They’ll scare her. I want to die knowing my girls are safe.”

  “Don’t say that!” I yelled as I moved to stand and burst into tears.

  Grabbing my hand, Marcus tugged me down into his lap and wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face in my hands and cried harder than I’ve ever cried in my life. And Marcus let me. He didn’t ask me to stop.

  Instead, he tightened his hold on me and said, “I don’t want to spend the last year of my life in denial. I’m dying, Emerson. You need to accept it so we can move forward. Will you do that for me?”

  I nodded reluctantly. “Okay,” I lied, and he knew it. “I love you, Marcus.”

  “For eternity,” he whispered. And for the first time since our daughter was born, Marcus cried.

  “Let me guess,” a familiar male voice startles me. I look over my shoulder to see Cam walking toward me, wearing a timid smile. “Max?”

  “Marcus,” I huff before turning my attention back to the water as the last sliver of sunlight disappears.

  I’ve known Cameron “Cam” Parker since the day he was born. Elizabeth threw a fit because she wanted a little sister. A few months later, my little brother, Liam, was born. I didn’t care that Liam was a boy because he was the cutest baby I’d ever seen. The boys were only six when I left Heritage Bay, but because our mothers are still best friends and he’s Liam’s best friend, Cam has been a constant in my life. And up until last month, he was living next door with Liam. The two have been inseparable their entire lives, their connection so solid that they even played for the same baseball team.